


You are My Dream

by Ren_writes_badly



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: Angst, Bad Writing, Cheating, Hurt, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-31
Updated: 2017-05-30
Packaged: 2018-11-07 03:00:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,627
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11049909
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ren_writes_badly/pseuds/Ren_writes_badly
Summary: Just general biadore angst where roy cheats on danny with jason. Post breakup





	1. You Left Me

“I’m sorry!” I screamed a little too loud in the silent ally.  
“Why on earth would you be the sorry one?” He was trying so hard to be calm, but I could see his anger. I can always see his emotions. I know him. No one else knows him better than me. The ally was only illuminated with the one streetlight and the moonlight.  
“I don’t know, Roy! You never say sorry and you make me feel guilty for you doing stupid shit! So yes, I am sorry. I am sorry you fucked up. I am sorry you got too drunk. I am sorry that you left me FOR A FAN! YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO POST ABOUT YOUR LOVE! YOU CAN SHOW HOW MUCH YOU LOVE HIM, BUT YOU WOULDN’T SHOW HOW MUCH YOU LOVED ME! OH, ROYI AM SOO SORRY! I AM SO SO SORRY!” I was properly crying by this point. “Why haven’t you ever said sorry? You can’t ignore the subject forever.”  
“Danny.” He cupped my cheek, but I slapped his hand away.  
“Don’t Danny me, Roy. You are still with him, and unlike him I will NOT let you cheat on him. I know how bad that feels.” A tear spilled down his cheek. “Why don’t you love me anymore?”  
“Who said I didn’t love you anymore?” He was crying, bawling even. I felt a twinge of guilt, but quickly pushed it down because he deserved to cry once over me after all the times I’ve cried over him.  
“JASON! JASON DID!” Roy’s eyes flickered with guilt and sadness. “And you, you told me you don’t love me anymore. You told me when you left. I was crying. I was on my knees begging for you to stay. I was telling you we could work it out. You left. You said you didn’t love me anymore. Why? What did I do wrong?” I pushed him a little so his back was against the wall.  
“You didn’t do anything wrong, Danny. You never do anything wrong.” Roy slowly put his hand in mine. I would have pulled away but I needed it. “I am an idiot. I am an idiot who hurt such a beautiful boy.”  
“I think I need to go.” I pulled my hand out of his and turned to walk away from a bad situation like the responsible adult I am.  
“Daniel.” There is was. The word alone would have gotten to me, but the way his voice broke with sobs didn't help. I turned to him and he looked so broken. He was such a stable person. I had only seen him cry three or four times. He looked from my eyes to my lips and I knew where his mind was.  
“Roy, don’t kiss me unless you break up with him or I will never talk to you again.” I was trying to say it without sounding like a cunt. I’m not sure I succeeded.  
Roy grabbed my upper-arms and pulled. I thought he was going to try to kiss me, but he wrapped his arms around my neck and clung to me in a hug. He sobbed into my chest. “Oh, Danny, I’m sorry I am such a douche.” He stopped and choked out a breath before continuing. “I made such a big mistake. Even Sammi and Dede knew that I made a mistake.” Roy was melting in my arms and I didn't know what to do. I never wanted to leave his embrace.  
“You're still with him.” I muttered. He could hear me because of our closeness.  
“But, I want you.” He was sobbing and I couldn't help it, I was guilty. I felt so guilty.  
I pried him off of me and held his face in my hands. “Tell him that.” I used my thumb to wipe away the flow of tears. “He deserves to know.” my tears were almost gone.  
“I will.” Roy pulled away and dug in his pocket and fished out his phone.  
“No.” I closed his hands around his phone. “In person. Nothing feels shittier than a breakup text.”  
“Okay, I'll talk to you then.” And with that Roy ran down the ally and to his car. The engine started almost immediately and I ran to the end to watch as he sped off. Then I was alone, still in tears alone in an ally. I walked slowly to my car and wiped a few stray tears away from my cheeks. I turned the car and my radio started blasting some Lana Del Rey song that I must have been listening too prior to walking into the gig that I knew I would have to perform with Roy. 

When I got back to my apartment I was taken aback by the mess. I didn’t realize when I am sad the apartment goes to shit. It’s never really nice, but this was terrible. There was pizza boxes and beer cans everywhere. The pillows were in a pille on the floor that looked like a nest up close to the T.V. and there were cookie crumbs everywhere.  
I told myself I would clean it the next day, and headed to my bedroom which was not in better condition. I took my arm and swept off the cans and paper plates off my comforter. I crawled under, almost instantly falling into the realm of dreams. Pictures of Roy and me dancing with a little girl, and us making cookies and cupcakes, running in my head.

bang Bang BANG  
The house felt like it was shaking. I got up and realized I hadn’t even changed clothes. I trudged my way to the door. When I looked into the small window on the door I saw Jason. There he was, Jason. He looked like he had been crying, but the emotion that was sprinkled on his face was not sadness. It was anger.  
He saw me looking out the window and stepped back and crossed his arms. I opened the door as slowly as I could without making it obvious.  
“Hello, Jason.”  
“Cut the shit, Dan. We both know why I am here.” He put one hand on his hip and looked me up and down.  
“It’s Danny, and I don’t know why you are here.”  
“Danny, you convinced Roy to leave me so you could have him. He told me that you said it.”  
“I said what, Jason?” I leaned against the door frame. “That I wouldn’t let him cheat on you. I am such a cunt. I care about your feelings.” I said emotionless.  
“He would never do that to me.” Jason crossed his arms once again.  
“He did it to me.” It was barely a whisper, but he heard it. I saw the realization run down his face like melting wax.  
“No! He did it to you because he loves me!” I was whispering and Jason was screaming.  
“Settle down, Jason. He did break up with you, remember.”  
“He did that because of you!” Jason screamed.  
“What is the point in screaming right now? I don’t understand.” He took two steps back before pushing past me forcefully and into my apartment. He grabbed a lamp that was next to the couch and threw it at me, but it stopped because of the cord that was plugged into the wall. It shattered.  
He cried, hard. He sunk down to the floor and cried. “Was he going to cheat on me?” he whispered. He looked up at me with tear stained cheeks and watery eyes. “Was he going to cheat on me?” He screamed at me.  
“I don’t know. He looked like he was going to kiss me, but I told him I would never talk to him if he did. He had a lot to drink.” I whispered sitting down on the floor two feet away from him. He laughed. He actually laughed.  
“He was drunk. A drunk confession that he still loved you, how romantic. He pulled me along for so long and he loved you the whole time. What a douche.” He buried his face in his hands.  
“He is such a douche.” I laughed. “Why do people fall so easily to his charm?”  
“I’ve been under his spell for so long. I don’t remember a time I wasn’t.” He looked at me.  
“Me neither.” He got up and headed to the door.  
“Thanks for the chat.” He said awkwardly and walked out the door.

I don’t know why I wasn’t expecting the call from Roy, but it scared me and I felt guilty about the need to pick it up. “Hello?”  
“Danny, hey, I broke up with Jason. I’m coming over, okay?” He exclaimed through the phone.  
“Oh, I know. Jason just left. Yeah, come over.” And with that Roy hung up. 

 

“I’m sorry.” Roy said as he ran his hand across the couch to move the trash piled there. He sat down and I followed his lead. “Everything is my fault.”  
“You’re right. Everything is your fault.”  
“But I’m trying to fix it.” He sighed and pulled me lightly so that my head was in his lap and I was suddenly reminded of how it used to be. We were so careless and free. He was my home.  
“Can we ever be the same?”  
“We can sure as hell try.” He ran his hands through my air and I closed my eyes.


	2. You are My Dream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> just read it and weep

I opened my eyes to an empty bed and shook my head furiously. Where had Roy gone? 

He was never there. He was most likely laying in bed with Jason drinking coffee. What's even better? He was never mine. Damn I need to stop dreaming about him. He will never be mine. He thinks I'm just a child


End file.
